


No Chance For Release

by ununoriginal



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-10-28
Updated: 2003-10-28
Packaged: 2017-12-14 16:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ununoriginal/pseuds/ununoriginal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He might have stayed, if she had been someone else. Sasuke POV. Yaoi (slight).</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Chance For Release

_And it was as I stood there, my back towards her, reluctantly allowing her pleas to enter my ears, that my will solidified, and my purpose in life once again narrowed down to one single objective.  
  
I moved behind her as fast as my speed allowed, and I murmured my gratitude.  For she had demonstrated something that I had been steadfastly refusing to admit to myself.  
  
Later, I laid her down on a nearby bench and left without a backward glance.  
  
  
  
  
_He had not realised how much the other boy's rapid improvement had affected him until they had begun their chuunin examinations.  As he had fallen to Orochimaru's poisonous bite, he had been forced to lie helpless on the ground while Sakura and Naruto had fought desperately to fend off the monster's taunting ploys.  He had watched as Sakura was trapped, and Naruto had dragged himself off the ground time and again to hurl himself in near-futility at their opponent who had severely outclassed them.  
  
He had wished and wished with such fervour and rage to be able to get up and help, to show that serpent what he was capable of, and why was it he was stuck there and unable to do a single thing when Naruto just kept bouncing back and it was so intensely frustrating and _unfair_ and there was so much of power within him he was sure of it if only he could reach it if only --  
  
Something had snapped inside of him then, and a strange, yet almost familiar sensation had slid through him, threatening to overtake his mind.  He could feel the raw chakra flooding into him and he was about to grasp it, twist it, _blast_ it out when Sakura's horrified gasp broke through his concentration, and he could sense the power slithering away again, tantalising.  A deep part of him had been screaming denial as gates slammed shut, even as he had been overtly cursing at the black symbols crawling across his skin.  
  
And then he knew nothing of what had passed until he surfaced within a seal guarded by jounin.  Kakashi had begun teaching him Chidori and Raikiri, inserting cryptic remarks now and then about using his new-found abilities wisely.  He remembered that Kakashi had always deliberately not looked at him whenever he said them.  
  
But he didn't particularly care then, just clinging to the knowledge that he was learning something new and immensely powerful, and he was the only one out of their trio who was learning it.  He flatly shut the the tiny burst of relief that it would ensure that he was still ahead of them ( _him_ ), as it should be.  
  
Which was why it was so infuriating when he had heard Naruto as he had readied himself in the arena to do battle with Gaara.  He had the Sharingan and now he possessed Chidori, yet the idiot still dared to insist that he not fight?  Did he believe that he had spent the past months merely recuperating in bed?  How could Naruto have so little faith in his abilities?  It had been a near miracle that Naruto had been able to defeat the arrogant Hyuga bastard but he had never thought of urging the other boy not to compete.  
  
It had been too insulting, and cut deeper than he had ever expected.  He had been so determined to show everyone ( _Naruto_ ) that he was better, better than all of them.    
  
And it had seemed to be going his way as well.  He probably might have won, gained a greater edge - if he had been contending against another ninja.    
  
But he had been battling a monster, a creature with issues, barely restrained within a shell of sand, and all his Chidori had accomplished was to unleash it.  
  
At the end of the entire fiasco, the village had been devastated - with the third Hokage dead, the defenses devastated, and yet the thing that had truly registered was that it had been Naruto - not him - but an idiot who had graduated at the tail end of their class, who had finally managed to bring Gaara to his knees.  
  
He could recall his incredulity as the blond boy had managed to summon GamaBunta, and the grudging awe tinged with fear as he sensed the undercurrents of the Kyubi's chakra swirling in the air, forced through the seal upon Naruto by his will and unwavering determination.  
  
Most of all, he remembered the dark envy that had coursed through him as the dust had settled after the final clash between the other two boys and he had been able to determine that Naruto had indeed, come out the winner.  Raging jealousy had boiled up within him at Naruto's subsequent speech to Gaara.  He had comprehended every word; each syllable of pain, loneliness, and misery at being a freak/outcast had struck a similar chord inside of him.  
  
Naruto had been saying all the things he had ever wanted to hear - the other boy had understood how it had felt, all the contempt and disgust, how it could be better to wrap oneself in isolation than to endure all the looks, the whispers, the derogatory taunts.  They had experienced the same things, they should have understood each other.  
  
But Naruto was not saying any of it to him.  Had never spoken a single word before this.  
  
Yet he was pouring his heart out to a virtual stranger, who, bare minutes ago, was a deadly enemy.  
  
A deadly enemy that Sasuke had desperately wanted to murder, if he but had the chakra or the strength left.  The image of Gaara gazing at an oblivious Naruto as he was spirited away by his brother and sister was still burned into his mind's eye.  
  
His own brother had returned to haunt him soon after, only it turned out that he had merely been an afterthought, an inconvenience who had gotten in the way.    
  
It had been Naruto his brother wanted.  Naruto, who was supposed to be a fool, the most incompetent ninja in the world.  Naruto, who had disappeared with a strange, lecherous old man, only to return unscathed from his brushes with death from Itachi and Orochimaru with the new female Hokage.  
  
While he, Sasuke, had been bound to his bed, held trapped in the fucked up horror that was part-memory and part-Sharingan-illusion, lashed over and over by the whip of his brother's cruelty and indifference.  
  
He kept wishing then, for Sakura to go away - he loathed the way she would sit by the bed with her head lowered, never daring to look at him in the eye, her hurt, wounded gaze skittering everywhere but straight, her silence all but proclaiming her foolish, stupid belief that he would get better and everything would be as it was.  He abhored the way she would try to fill the broken, awkward silences with anecdotes of what Naruto had done, what was happening in the village, the new legislation the fifth Hokage was implementing.  And most of all, he despised the way she treated him like an invalid, carefully performing the simplest action for him, avoiding everything _difficult_ and cruel and hard and angry - everything he absolutely needed right then.  
  
It had been so liberating to grab Naruto by the collar, taunt him, mock him, push every single button until the fiery temper lost control and snapped back at him.  It felt like he could finally breathe again as they had faced off on the roof, and Naruto was glaring right at him, eyes impossibly bright, furious - at him, Sasuke, his equal, his opponent - not the pathetic remnant of a once-powerful tribe, not some illusory knight in shining armour, not something worthless and hollow and _not him_.  
  
Which made the suckerpunch to the gut all the more excruciating, when the sickening realisation that they were not equal after all had dawned upon him.  Naruto was growing by leaps and bounds, and he was already pulling ahead from him, faster and faster, and he would fall behind, fall away, like the dripping water that was all that was left of the water tank which Naruto's chakra had blasted apart.  
  
Kakashi had said that the both of them had found comrades, friends - family.  But the comrades and friends he had had never experienced the purgatory he existed in, and family, to him, meant nothing but a mindless aching drive for vengeance.  
  
Only one person could have understood what he had went through, what he had thought and felt.    
  
But Naruto had never comprehended the most important thing of all.  
  
  
  
  
So it was as he stood there, his back towards Sakura, reluctantly allowing her pleas to enter his ears, that his will solidified ( _I would show him, I would show them all_ ), and his purpose in life once again narrowed down to one single objective.  
  
He moved behind her as fast as his speed allowed, and he murmured his gratitude.  For she had demonstrated something that he had been steadfastly refusing to admit to himself ( _I might have stayed, if she had been someone else_ ).  
  
Later, he laid her down on a nearby bench ( _I might have turned back but he never appeared_ ) and left without a backward glance.


End file.
